V-Day

No... this post is not about V-Day as in Valentines Day.
It is true that I am not a fan of pink, nor hearts, nor any sort of plushy stuffed, well... anything. But I choose NOT to endlessly rant off the many reasons why I so dislike this commercialized greeting-card holiday.

I will say just this one thing and then I'll be done on that subject:
If you love someone, any day is a special day, every day is a good day to tell them you love them. It's absurd to think we need a holiday in order to convey such an important, no, vital message.

Alright I'm done.

V-Day actually refers to Victory Day - that is February 13th, the day I danced the Fairy of Wit.
Yes, that's right... the variation went well. No. It went more than well. Praise the Lord it went wonderfully!

"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God you will receive what he has promised." Hebrews 10:35-36.

On more than one occasion the Lord has quickened to me this verse, but oh how apt I am to forget it! The Sunday before I performed the Fairy of Wit my pastor preached on this very verse (as well as those leading up to it). God was very clearly saying: "Jessika, do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded!"
And yet instead of trusting God, claiming His promise, and resting in this confidence, "Stressika" (yes, that would be me) persisted in focusing on the waves of doubt that only seemed to grow larger the longer she (that is to say I) looked at them.
But oh how faithful and patient God is with us! Finally after recognizing how out of whack my priorities had become, confessing and repenting putting other's opinions over His, with both hands I grabbed the promise given in Hebrews 10:35-36. My confidence rests in Him, and oh how richly rewarded it was!

Still feeling some butterflies in my stomach Saturday morning (which actually isn't a bad thing at all) this verse was not only in my morning devotional book but also in my Bible Study lesson:

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

Can you say appropriate?! And He did give me such a peace... As the music began and I ran out on stage, the spotlight shining down on me, I felt His joy and pleasure. No worry... just fun. No pressure... just peace. The tempo was absolutely perfect, and as I moved through the variation I mentally checked each challenge off my list. "Yes. Good Jessika. That one's done. Keep going. You're doing great. You can do this. You ARE doing this!" I could feel all my co-workers in the wings watching, cheering me on. Even my old boss happened to be there - a gift in and of itself! And then came that fateful last step. I can't really tell you what went through my head at that moment. I think I just decided I was going to do it. And I did.
The smile on my face was slightly ridiculous. If it wasn't already big enough before, I think it kind of overtook my face as I went to bow. I can honestly say I have never been more proud of myself - and I NEVER say that. But I know that as much as it was me, it was even more Him working through me. To God be the glory!

My confidence was richly rewarded. At the end of the Prologue Act just after the curtain came in my old boss came up to me and congratulated me on performing the part. I said: "Thank you. You know I was feeling a little nervous about it at first, but..." and she interrupted, "Oh NO! I knew from the moment you came out on stage that you were going to be great!"
What a reward. And what a victory! I couldn't have asked for a better show and I am so thankful for all the many gifts the Lord's given me!