Monday, January 25, 2010

The "Mondays."

Well I've had a serious case of the "Mondays" today.
Try as I might, everything seemed to go wrong. Well maybe "wrong" is the wrong word. I guess a better way of describing it would be like a fly or a bee trying to escape from inside a car.

"Bzzzz... Smack! Bzzzz... Smack!" Over and over again.

My body just wasn't doing what I wanted it to. In my mind I'd see what I wanted - I'd picture myself doing a step or variation a certain way, like that bug looking out the window, but then SMACK. I'd hit the invisible barrier. Nope. Fail. Attempt denied. Trying to stay optimistic and not downward spiral into the land of negativity, I just shake it off. That phrase my dad would always say to my brother and I as kids popped into my mind: "If at first you don't succeed, try try again!" Was that in a Disney movie? It sounds like it could've been. And so like that bug, I'd go at it again, or I'd go at something else.
And then another thing. SMACK.
Like the bug the irritable buzzing grew louder and louder with each failed attempt to reach the desired, only in my case it wasn't buzzing, but loud annoyed sighs and frustrated "ahhh"s. I couldn't decide if I needed a punching bag or a box of tissues.
Thankfully neither was required.

I had BSF tonight - Bible Study Fellowship, to those who have not experienced its amazingness - and what a good kick in the behind that was for me! Work went late so I arrived just in time for the lecture. And while the message wasn't poignantly on "dealing with frustrations" or "having grace for yourself," it was centered around the sacrificial work of Jesus and His followers. Let's just say it brought things into perspective. Today is Monday. Waiting for me is Eternity. Jesus knows my frustrations... He experienced it daily! Shoot... He is the Good Shepherd. What could be more frustrating than dealing with stupid, wandering and unbelieving sheep! He wants me to take these things to Him first and then to rest in His grace, keeping my eyes fixed not on what's outside that window, and trying over and over again, failing over and over again, but fixed on Him. He's the One who'll guide me out the open window just to my right.

Well it was definitely a Monday. But praise God Monday always ends with a good dose of reality... or should I say eternity.

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