It's been a long long time...
Funny. This is not only true of this blog, but also the opening line of the opening song in Sufjan Stevens' newest album, The Age of Adz (pronounced "odds").
There's so much to say, and on so many different topics - this album, this concert (I was blessed to see Sufjan at the Paramount Oct. 30th), this job; dreams that have awoken, lessons that are being learnt... There's so much to say. So much so that it almost overwhelms me. I told my mentor the other day that I felt like I was in the eye of a tornado with life swirling chaotically around me (also a somewhat ironic analogy since I just finished studying cyclonic storms in my Weather, Climate, Geography & Soils class... but I digress). It feels like so many things are up in the air, and I'm waiting to see where everything lands before I can move forward.
And yet I have peace.
For those of you who know me you understand what a miracle - how "of the Lord" this is. Shoot, if you're a Type A, natural born planner, a.k.a. control freak, you understand what a miracle this is.
Generally speaking, even the mere mention of chaos, lack of direction or movement makes my chest tighten and soul cringe as anxiety washes over me. This is my natural "old-self" reaction. But "the old has gone, the new has come"! Praise the Lord He is making me new.
I am new.
I am in the eye of the storm where all is calm amidst the dark whirling storm. I am full of peace. But I am tired. See, it does take energy to stand firm, to stay in the eye, to not get sucked into the cyclone. And that's okay - okay to be tired ("Old-self" would have been shaking her finger at me for not being superwoman). Because I have the Everlasting Arms to rest in... just like the little boy I saw at church today who was sleeping in his dad's arms during the service.
So I curl up in my Abba Father's arms and I rest. And I feel safe. Nothing else matters. This first song on Sufjan's album inspires these feelings in me - it's an invitation to rest, to trust, to peace.
It's been a long long time, and there is so much to say. There's a lot of storm to describe. But I've come to realize that at times, when it comes to describing my swirling life, "words are futile devices."
Enjoy "Futile Devices" by Sufjan Stevens via youtube. And buy his newest album here. Just do it.
Showing posts with label Perspective. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Perspective. Show all posts
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Adventures in D.C. Part II + some...
So I know I said I would be blogging more frequently since this Creative Non-Fiction Writing class began, but, well, yeah... It's been a while. Sorry about that.
Things this week have been, odd? That's not quite the right word to describe this past week, but I lack the energy and motivation to seek out another.
So Monday marked the beginning of a new season in more than one way - but I'll save that for tomorrow's installment... After having a two week "vacation" I returned to work beginning my 7th season with PNB (hard to believe huh?!). And if this first week of the 2010-2011 season is any indication of what the rest of this year's going to look like then believe me it's going to be an interesting one! Here's just a glimpse of this week for you and then I'll do my best to sum up the end of last season...
But forget this week... this post is supposed to be about Adventures in D.C., not Chaos in Seattle.
So you all heard about how the performances went - what else is left to say? Because it's all about performance right? Yeah, um not.
I have to say that I do love going on tour. Aside from the perk of it basically being an all-expense paid vacation with some work thrown in here and there, it's actually really fun traveling with my co-workers as a group. I spend a good amount of time with all of them every day in the studio, but there's something different when you're out of the box. Think of all the characters from the TV show "The Office" all on a vacation together... Okay well maybe it's not that dramatic or even that funny - but it gets you thinking in the right direction.
The cool thing about our Kennedy Center tour was that the co-workers that went are dancers I don't hang out with as much on a daily basis. So it was really nice getting to spend time with them and getting to know them a little bit better.
Another great thing about being a part of the Kennedy Center's "Ballet Across America II" program was getting to see other companies perform, and meet and dance with fellow dancers from across the country. I was blessed to see two old friends who now dance with The Joffrey (an amazing ballet company in Chicago) perform - and these two guys I knew from my school days! The ballet world really is SO small!
And lets see what else happened while I was in D.C.?
Oh yeah... I was able to meet up with a dear friend who I used to dance with in the Professional Division at PNBS. We ate dinner at a cute little place in Georgetown after a day of shopping and it was so wonderful to re-connect with her and hear how God's been working in her life. She and her husband came to the show Saturday night and I was so honored to have her sitting there in the audience supporting me because it was the first time she'd gone to a ballet since she was unfortunately forced into early retirement due to a knee injury she experienced four years prior.
Don't get me wrong - I do love and appreciate what I do - dancing that is. But talking with her over dinner really blessed me. It reminded me how fleeting this career is. How one minute you could be fine and then the next minute it's all over.
I am blessed to be a ballerina. I am blessed to wake up every morning and go in to work to dance and get paid to do it! It is a job, and with every job there's always drama and politics. But I'm convinced that this is just a tactic of the Enemy to steal our joy and distract us from the gift and blessing that the Lord's given us: a job we love to do, and the opportunity to glorify Him by joyfully and diligently working at it.
But this lesson doesn't just apply to ballerinas. Do you get caught up in the drama at your workplace? How often do you gripe about your co-workers, your boss or situations at work? Do you wake up excited to go to work, or do you dread it?
I wish my answers to these questions were different. I am guilty on all counts, and more often than I'd like to admit. But having dinner with my friend, seeing the enthusiasm she has for the new path the Lord has her on, but also the grieving process she's gone through letting go of the old one (ballet) gave me a new perspective.
So thank you Lauren.
Well I guess there's going to have to be an "Adventures in D.C. Part III." Yikes.
For now I think this is enough.
Till later~
justJessika
Things this week have been, odd? That's not quite the right word to describe this past week, but I lack the energy and motivation to seek out another.
So Monday marked the beginning of a new season in more than one way - but I'll save that for tomorrow's installment... After having a two week "vacation" I returned to work beginning my 7th season with PNB (hard to believe huh?!). And if this first week of the 2010-2011 season is any indication of what the rest of this year's going to look like then believe me it's going to be an interesting one! Here's just a glimpse of this week for you and then I'll do my best to sum up the end of last season...
Day One Monday: Begin learning a new ballet (that we won't perform till March...)
Day Two Tuesday: No ballet today... go to a wedding.
Day Three Wednesday: Finish learning the new ballet.
Day Four Thursday: Forget the new ballet. Remember two old ones we performed last April (prep for our tour to Vail in 2.5 weeks).
Day Five Friday: Attempt rehearsing two old ballets with a strained calf muscle. Add another old ballet to the mix.Oh and somewhere in there I wrote a paper, did some homework, and had a dinner with an amazing lady.
But forget this week... this post is supposed to be about Adventures in D.C., not Chaos in Seattle.
So you all heard about how the performances went - what else is left to say? Because it's all about performance right? Yeah, um not.
I have to say that I do love going on tour. Aside from the perk of it basically being an all-expense paid vacation with some work thrown in here and there, it's actually really fun traveling with my co-workers as a group. I spend a good amount of time with all of them every day in the studio, but there's something different when you're out of the box. Think of all the characters from the TV show "The Office" all on a vacation together... Okay well maybe it's not that dramatic or even that funny - but it gets you thinking in the right direction.
The cool thing about our Kennedy Center tour was that the co-workers that went are dancers I don't hang out with as much on a daily basis. So it was really nice getting to spend time with them and getting to know them a little bit better.
Another great thing about being a part of the Kennedy Center's "Ballet Across America II" program was getting to see other companies perform, and meet and dance with fellow dancers from across the country. I was blessed to see two old friends who now dance with The Joffrey (an amazing ballet company in Chicago) perform - and these two guys I knew from my school days! The ballet world really is SO small!
And lets see what else happened while I was in D.C.?
Oh yeah... I was able to meet up with a dear friend who I used to dance with in the Professional Division at PNBS. We ate dinner at a cute little place in Georgetown after a day of shopping and it was so wonderful to re-connect with her and hear how God's been working in her life. She and her husband came to the show Saturday night and I was so honored to have her sitting there in the audience supporting me because it was the first time she'd gone to a ballet since she was unfortunately forced into early retirement due to a knee injury she experienced four years prior.
Don't get me wrong - I do love and appreciate what I do - dancing that is. But talking with her over dinner really blessed me. It reminded me how fleeting this career is. How one minute you could be fine and then the next minute it's all over.
I am blessed to be a ballerina. I am blessed to wake up every morning and go in to work to dance and get paid to do it! It is a job, and with every job there's always drama and politics. But I'm convinced that this is just a tactic of the Enemy to steal our joy and distract us from the gift and blessing that the Lord's given us: a job we love to do, and the opportunity to glorify Him by joyfully and diligently working at it.
But this lesson doesn't just apply to ballerinas. Do you get caught up in the drama at your workplace? How often do you gripe about your co-workers, your boss or situations at work? Do you wake up excited to go to work, or do you dread it?
I wish my answers to these questions were different. I am guilty on all counts, and more often than I'd like to admit. But having dinner with my friend, seeing the enthusiasm she has for the new path the Lord has her on, but also the grieving process she's gone through letting go of the old one (ballet) gave me a new perspective.
So thank you Lauren.
Well I guess there's going to have to be an "Adventures in D.C. Part III." Yikes.
For now I think this is enough.
Till later~
justJessika
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